Questions Brit and Wolf should be asking of Presidential hopefuls, Dennis Kucinich, Mike Gravel, Ron Paul, and Tom Tancredo.
When it’s time to choose you’re Vice Presidential running mate will you use Match.com or eHarmony .com?
Should the minimum wage be raised the maximum to get to the median income level?
If Joey Buttafuoco sired a child with Amy Fisher, should Medicare cover it?
According to the Kyoto Protocol is ethanol a vegetable or a gas?
Jack Bauer has confirmed it, the Joint Chiefs of Staff has Ok’d it, your finger is on the button and you’re sweating—are you using a solid or a roll-on?
Would you blush if you were Google searched?
As President of the United States would you smoke a cigar in the Oval Office, hold a cigar but not light it, suck an Altoid or, all of the above?
Do you think the brazen insouciance of Congressman William Jefferson (D-LA) is a leading cause of ennui among voters?
Should the Scales of Justice be digital?
Would you consider Forrest Gump as Press Secretary in your administration?
Is the country ready to elect the first President, not to wear a codpiece?
What will be the official White House dog if you are elected President: a Whippet, Dandie Dinmont Terrier or a Bullshitzu (a cross between a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu)?
Would you pardon “Scooter” Libby if he agreed to change his name to “Fibby” Libby?
Should ‘guest workers’ be allowed to pick escarole, endive and arugula as well as iceberg, romaine and butterhead?
If you became President would you hold a summit with the Prime Minister of Canada to discuss their politically incorrect use of the word loonie?
JAB
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