PARIS HILTON ANSWERS FAN MAIL FROM JAIL CELL

Paris Hilton #9818783
P.O.Box 86164
Terminal Annex
Los Angeles, CA 90086-0164

Dear Norman,
Thanks for your concern; it’s nice to hear from someone else in the hospitality business. I must be honest I’ve never heard of the Bates Motel. Thanks for the offer of a cutting edge shower curtain but it wouldn’t be allowed here.
Leave a light on.
Paris Hilton

Hello Fergie,
Thanks, for the kid gloves, very cool with my orange jumpsuit. Say hello to your ex Randy, I mean, Andy, for me.
From one Princess to a Duchess,
Paris XOXO

Hey Martha,
Thanks, for the “Soap- On-A-Rope,” I know what you mean when you say, “been there done it.”
Love,
#9818783

Dear Mr. Bolze,
The info on The First Bar Trade was great, if that’s a franchise, do you know if there’s one in the LA area? I can’t wait to try the secret sauce. If I bump into Russell I’ll be sure to say hello to him for you.
Whatever it is, I agree, Go LadyVols,
Paris Hilton
P.S.If your arms are long enough give a hug to Dolly for me.

Britney,
Just chill, with the hostilities, remember---- I’m the heiress and you’re the hairless. As Fergie would say,” don’t get your knickers in a twist”, if you wore them.
Meow,
Paris

Hi Mel,
Thanks for the offer but I think my parents will be driving me home.
Love,
Paris Hilton

Dear Aussie,
Thanks for thinking of me. I went to Map Quest and couldn’t find “Down Under.” Help!!!
And a big “crikey” to you to, mate,
Paris Hilton

Yo, Rosie,
I’ll see if daddy can get you a job in one of his hotels. Hang in there, ok.
Your platonic friend
Paris

Hey O.J.
Ya, I know the Bronco gives a good ride but as I said to Mel my parents will be picking me up.
I’m sure you’d like, Paris in the springtime, but it ain’t gonna happen, buckaroo.
Sincerely,
Paris Hilton

Dear Larry,
I know you can’t give me any money for being on Larry King Live but how about a year’s supply of Mighty Dog food for Tinkerbell.
Love
Tinkerbell’s, mommy

Dear Peter Puck,
I love Canada. I was planning to do some snowboarding over the July 4th weekend just outside of Toronto.Oh well, if the snow is still good in August I hope to see you then.

Ore Voir,
Paris
JAB