Wednesday, August 29, 2007


In light of, Idaho Senator Larry Craig’s guilty plea after, a police complaint of lewd conduct in a Minneapolis airport bathroom, the Committee on Standards of Official Conduct is proposing the following legislation for men’s public bathrooms.

Do not stick your hand under the stall divider and say, “Gimme five.”

Do not brag that only people from Idaho know that there is no ‘e’ in the spelling of the word potato.

Do not say, “I’m out of the watercloset,”when leaving the bathroom.

Do not say, “business as usual,” if you are an elected official, and get caught.

No humming or whistling “Macho Man” by the Village People.

No footsies when sitting in the stalls.

No handsies when standing at the urinals.

Keep whatever is between you and your Calvins to yourself.

If you feel you must talk about something other than the weather talk about ESPN, not Oprah.

Handicapped stalls are for the physically challenged not the challenged who want to get physical.

Don’t EVER say, “Who left the toilet seat up?”

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