Hundreds of email came in from the Andy piece....here are some....enjoy!!!!!

(CBS) Here’s some of the mail I received concerning my piece on chat rooms.

Dear Mr. Rooney,

You made the comment that the women have soft, sweet names, what’s that suppose to mean? Are you suggesting we don’t have cahones .Let me set the record straight, MarkB can talk all he wants about his expansions and extensions (I notice he doesn’t say much about his time lines). We have symmetry and if you check the dictionary, it says‘correct or pleasing proportion of parts’. We also have slippage; use your imaginations on that one bucko.We get into bonds and crude with the best of them.Ok, I’ll concede we don’t do gas, we’ll leave that to Moose and FloodGate_WI. Finally, “I know Russell; he is a friend of mine. You, Mr. Rooney, are no Russell.”
Sincerely,
dharma


Dearest Andy,
If you ever come across ‘a possible long that needs a triple sling ‘I want to know immediately
Love and kisses
BobCathy



Dear Mr. Rooney,
I have always been a big fan of yours. I’ve seen all of your movies and especially enjoyed the early ones with you and Judy Garland. I still have arguments with the missus about the fact you’ve been married eight times, boy that Ava Gardner was some looker. Anyway time to catch Vanna on Wheel of Fortune, ‘com’on big money’ and then Judge Judy, hubba hubba.
taku


Dear Mr. Rooney,
You Yanks could learn a thing or two from our language. I’d rather have bangers and mash or toad in the hole than bloody chicken wings and hoagies. I’d rather run out of petrol with a liter under the bonnet than drive those bloody SUV’s you drive on your motorways.
You can have your Bud and Pringles; I’ll keep my cup of tea and enjoy a fag anytime.
Cheers,
david_uk



Mr. Rooney,
I take exception to your making fun of my nick. Just the other night I was watching the Simpson’s with Mrs. noemotion and I can assure you when Homer ran out of Duff beer and Marge refused to go to Moe’s to get a six-pack; we both had a good cry. Not only that we’re both distraught about Jackaay and Jaret getting bumped off the reality show ‘I want to be a Hilton’. So don’t talk about noemotion Mr. Rooney, we’ve been there, done it.
Still hurting
noemotion



Hey Andy,
I want to thank drbob on many levels. He fixed my wisdom teeth and I’m smarter, he sorted out my eye teeth and I can see better, he gave me a crown and now I’m the king of CCI, ha,ha,ha,ha.
I don’t need no stinking mouthwash.
Woodie



Dear Andy,
I know the anguish of what nick to use in a chat room. When I was at boarding school the head master made me write ‘I am a wanker ‘one hundred times on the chalkboard. To this day I’m still stressed over whether that should have been my nick.
Distraught,
Anonymouse



Andy,
Checkout my latest cd ‘Lookout Weekend’, it’ll want to make you dance.
Always,
debbiedeb



I don’t have a clue what the following says, but I suspect they like their whiskey, the only Dutch I know from WW11 is keurig of ijs and voulez vous coucher avec moi, sorry that’s French, which reminds me, I’ve got to send some euros to the great grandchildren.



Geachte Heer Rooney,
De Macallan 30 jaar oud is de voornaamste van de klassieke Macallan afkomst, deze onthult tonen als sinaasappel en aromatische hars ontrokken uit het doorweekte eikenhout van Macallan's veel besproken Spaanse sherryvaten.
In deze vaten heeft deze heerlijke drank rustig liggen rijpen, verborgen van al het tumult van de passerende decennia.

Door zijn rijkheid te onthullen tot het volle, heeft de Macallan 30 jaar bewezen comfortabel te zijn en zonodig meer, daar waar de Macallan’s toewijding voor een single malt met de hoogste kwaliteit nodig is.

Kenmerkend gepresenteerd in een aantrekkelijk en blikvangende blauwe houten verpakking, dit voegt nog meer toe aan de mooie en exceptionele whisky.
Oprecht,
rg2jh