Chat room rules by you know who!!!!!!!

JAB said...
THE TOP 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT CHAT ROOMS

10-Be careful in your choice of nicknames. You don’t want to be Viagraman, and then be constantly saying, “I always do better when I’m short” (we know you’re lying) or Babydoll, “I only do spreads and after I make $ 500 I call it a day” or Jacko, “hey kids when’s the next TAL”?

9-If you’re new to a room, the first week; use LOL, ten times a day, BTW, four times and ROTFl, at least once.

8- Your second week, don’t use any of the above.

7-If you’re bored, don’t bore others with inane comments like, I wonder who invented two plus two equals four or my aunt Millie’s always complaining about her boils, and I tell her ‘well at least you don’t live in New Orleans’. If you’re that bored make yourself useful and pop bubble wrap.

6-Don’t bring up politics. I love Birch beer, birch is my favorite tree, my wife’s maiden name is Birch, our pastor encourages us to say ‘son of a birch’, Tennessee Supreme Court Justice Adolpho A.Birch.Jr, my favorite city is Birch, Idaho. Maybe there is something to that John Birch Society.

5-If you feel you must bring sex into a chat room, be sensitive to others. A eurot kiss may be innocent to you, but it may remind someone else of their 377 pound Bavarian aunt, smelling of liverwurst and limburger cheese, while, hugging you to her bosom on the hottest day in July when you were a six year old. Avoid sexual innuendos. Your nick may give you bragging rights but until we see the real thing we aren’t interested nor care. Besides, for every woman that may think of you as a woody (or is it ie), there may be twice as many who see it as ZLR.

4-Don’t get into social issues. Who doesn’t want to preserve the earth and return to nature? If that’s your reality check, then become Amish, live off the land with no electricity, and then try and join a chat room.

3-Don’t get into religion. Ya, we’re all born again, wear a cabala wristband, eat fish on Friday during Lent, believe in enlightment by karma, think Tom Cruise and the “study of truth” is cool, want Nirvana after many reincarnations, Mecca is in Saudi Arabia, believe all bugs are God’s creatures, love Jamaica, ganja and Bob Marley,and give to Hare Krishna at the airport.

2-Don’t get too personal. Nobody’s interested in looking at pictures you drew as a three year old that are still magnetized to your parent’s fridge. No one cares that you were conceived on Yasgur’s farm while your parent’s were tripping on Jimi Hendrix. Do you think anyone gives a horse’s pootie that your cat ‘Inky’ can cough a fur ball over three monitors, I don’t think so?

1- Make sure the moderator doesn’t know your real name. You never know, it could be an IRS guy, the transvestite you met in that seedy bar when you were all liquored up on a recent business trip, the guy from Chippendale’s you had the one night stand with, while, your husband was in the Far East on business or the ultimate; it could be your dentist.

September 25, 2005 1:26 PM