This is the funniest post ever....thanks for the laugh Jab.

(CBS): The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by correspondent Andy Rooney. It was first broadcast May 15, 2005.

Have you ever wondered about chat rooms, well I have. I was slow to come to a chat room. For years after everyone else was in one, I was still using a rotary phone. I recently visited a chat room and have these comments and observations.

They had a Jean Yus and a briteagle. You’d think if they were smart enough to get into a chat room, they’d be smart enough to spell ‘genius’ and ‘bright.’ On second thought, I probably answered my own question.

Someone went by the name lobsterboy, gee, I wonder what he says to his wife if he’s had a bad trading day,”Oh, crabby would you draw my butter for me please and check on the little prawns”.Let’s hope CajunBoy doesn’t find out where they live.

How about CluelessTrader, now there’s a confidence builder, after he tells you he’s + 5 er2 at 683.70 on a 5014 slingshot and an evening star candle basis a 1000v tf with a T1 of 685.80 off fib 1.618 and a sar at 684.30. Now tell us you’re going to get rapper 50 Cent to sing opera.

What kind of nick is noemotion, sure, you’re long five bonds and it comes out that Alan G and Andrea Mitchell are swingers; you’d better change your nick to loadinmyshorts real quick.

There are people from all walks of life in chat rooms, pilots, buggy whip makers, engineers, doctors, there’s even a dentist, drbob, how would you like to be in the middle of a root canal when his assistant says, “Woodie’s on the phone”.

One thing about chat rooms, everyone can see how dumb you are. I read where someone was asking wb_ NJ, what part of the country he was from or even better was this gem, hey, Max _MN what’s the surfing like in Australia? Maybe if they read Rand McNally, they’d find out MA doesn’t only stand for moving average. Although come to think of it, maybe FL does stand for ‘friggin lunkheads’

There’s a language peculiar to chat rooms. You’ll see things like ,"I'm into Russell and crude",”this 2.618 extension is killing me,I’m getting out of these shorts”,”russell keeps touching that double bottom which
looks firm to me”,"double top, half off"“entered on a kiss at 34 with 500 V”.”triple sling to support a possible long”. This is better reading than Paris Hilton’s E-mails.

Some use first names, Spike, MarkB, Frank P, Steve H, egor, Charles A, and sammy. Throw in a few Vinnie’s, Nicky’s, Fat Louie and a Rocco and it sounds like the Witness Protection Program.

There are those who prefer to use gender neutral names like, ognils, strider, Starlight, eieio, Strat.
Certainly, gives new meaning to the term swing traders and crossovers, now doesn’t it?

The women have soft, sweet names, esmeralda, donna, angela, janie, dharma, rosie, maggie, KATE, well there’s always going to be one nails- against- the chalkboard type.

Chat rooms have people from all over the world, UK, Australia, Tennessee, Sweden, and Canada. It’s bad enough we have to hear ‘eh’ from our neighbors to the north, now we have to look at brekky,nappie,gotta dash,nitey nite,cheers mate,this euro’s dropping like Nellie’s knickers. If this keeps up we’ll be pledging allegiance to the Queen, now wouldn’t that be ducky

Some of the names are straight out of the bar scene in a Star Wars movie,Koller3, Steve4223, Raven358,IcI+3, rg2jh, Drsatish, guppy .They probably stand around drinking Molson and Fosters arguing about slingshots versus sidewinders.

There’s a hint of social causes in some of the names,amayda/nl,Verus,woodman,jim- rainman,Eman CA (I guess the ‘E’ stands for everyday) I hardly think these types will trade lumber and live cattle, more likely, tofu and alfalfa sprouts.

I like to talk to people of my generation in a chat room, you know, hard of hearing, dentures in a glass next to the night table, pants up around mid chest. I don’t know them, but I think I could see eye to eye (if I got close enough) with olmikey and Taku. They sound wise and they’re certainly helpful and thoughtful, the chat room’s own Yodas. As much wisdom as they both have I’ll bet even they don’t know what a debbiedeb or a MoiraFromWestport is.

In case you‘re wondering what nick I used --it was in memory of my dear parents, Bob and Cathy.

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Posted by JAB to TradersParadise at 8/25/2005 02:44:22 AM